I don‘t have a whole lot of data to back this up, but it seems to me that covens have become more of a movie thing in witchcraft than something that real people do. These days, almost all of the witches I talk to or hear about are practicing as solitaries, or are part of a community group like a CUUPS chapter or some other tradition that practices in groups on holidays, or maybe offers group classes, but these are not covens.
What is a coven?
At its most basic level, a coven is a group of witches who have committed to engaging in their practice of witchcraft together. The commitment can be a formal one, made with oaths and ceremony. But increasingly it can be more informal. There are groups that define themselves as covens whose affiliations are far looser. Just as no one needs anyone’s permission to do witchcraft, as a general matter, no one needs anyone’s permission to form a coven. Not at the most basic level, anyway.
There are traditions that use the coven structure as the basic building block of how they operate as a group. These covens are usually not public, or if they are, they are very clear that their membership is by invitation only. Sometimes folks create membership groups for witchcraft practice and call them covens, and all you have to do to become a member is join a mailing list. For more selective covens, membership can be contingent on taking an oath that can include vows of secrecy and exclusivity. For a more traditional group, the coven becomes a cornerstone by which these groups teach their tradition, and celebrate holidays, and do group working.
The most traditional notion of a coven from Gardnerian lore says it has 13 members, and is presided over by a High Priest and a High Priestess. Increasingly, this kind of gender restriction is less prevalent even in Wiccan circles. In many traditions, especially those with hierarchy, coven leadership is restricted to those who have reached a certain rank or completed specific training. But honestly, there's not a damn thing that stops any witch anywhere (including you) from saying, "I'm starting a coven!" and having that be so.
All of that said, the fact that you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Well, not without first giving it some very serious thought.
Working magic as a group is heady stuff. Raising, shaping and directing magical energy together is a powerful experience. And when you do it consistently, bonds start to form, whether that was your intention or not. Circling consistently in magical space changes you, and having that experience consistently with others will change you together. It's really cool, actually.
The fact that magic happens whenever you get together will become a feature of your relationship, both when you circle, and when you are together in more ordinary ways. That’s because the formation of a coven, and being in a coven, is a type of working. It’s not a spell, per se. But it is an intentional creation that has a magical purpose. It is not like any other thing that you might belong to, like a book club or a social club. It’s not like any other activity that you might regularly do — it’s not a knitting circle or a gaming group. Your activities and your purpose are magical in nature, and infuse the very essence of the coven and all you do as part of it.
While there is nothing that says that your coven has to be comprised of intense relationships and intense working together. You can, if you want, treat being in a coven like being in a book club or a knitting circle. You can have a very committed, oathbound coven that works as part of a larger tradition, or you can maintain something super informal that meets once a month to shoot the shit and maybe do some magic. It doesn’t need to be that deep if you don’t want it to be. Most of what I am talking about here is most applicable to covens that are working a more intense and committed framework.
If you do choose such a path, you’ll find that your individual magical workings will start to change because of the work that you do with your covenmates. And like everything in the Craft, the changes will challenge you, all of you. Building and maintaining a coven of this type requires intentional work from every member of the group. If you are ill-prepared, unwilling, or worst of all try to resist doing the work that needs doing, things will start to go sideways pretty fast. Many a coven leader, a coven member, and even entire covens, have imploded because they let their unattended issues fester until the stench of them became unbearable for everyone.
That said, how one deals with those issues in the context of a coven is important. The coven apparatus can be a great tool to help you as you work through whatever is on your spiritual plate. Whether it's addressing a generational trauma, moving through a new and difficult phase of your life, or just looking for a way to level up your craft, the support and resources provided by a group of witches who are mutually committed to growth are invaluable. But having a safe space with people who are committed to you does not entitle you to abuse the privilege of that space and those people. Your coven is not a vehicle for validating your ego. It is not a dumping ground for all your negativity. It is not a thing to be used.
But it is also true that people have their days. Most witches in covens have had that moment where a coven meeting was on the schedule, we've looked at the laundry piled up around the house, or have been swimming in emotional fallout from the events of our day, and thought, "Shit! The LAST thing I want to do is have to be in circle tonight. I don't have the energy/time/correct attitude." I suggest, however, that the moment when you feel like you don’t want to go, is precisely the moment in which you probably should. The kinship of your coven, the safety of that space, can be a great place to set down burdens and talk about problems and the magic you work together can be very supportive.
It‘s also true that safe environments must be carefully maintained by everyone in them, and if you are not doing your part, then the environment isn’t actually going to be safe for anyone, including you. Covenmates all need to listen to each other, really see each other, hold space for each other. And if one person is consistently drawing off the group’s energy and resources without contributing, that’s a problem. If someone is always pretending they are okay when they aren’t, that’s also a problem. A coven is not just an amassing of energy, it’s an exchange of energy. And if that is imbalanced, or toxic in any way, sooner or later that problem will impede the growth and the magic.
It’s always up to the witch to recognize when they really do need to skip that coven meeting because they can’t be a productive participant, and to recognize when they are avoiding the coven apparatus when it could actually do them some good. A coven isn’t for everyone, nor can it solve every problem. A coven is a tool. Like any tool in a witch’s arsenal, it is only ever as good as the witches who use it.
Most of all, a coven is WORK, even as it is also a WORKING. For the folks who are ready for that commitment, it can be incredibly rewarding. If you aren’t ready, the truth is that’s fine. Not every tool or working is for everyone. While tools are great to have, it’s important to remember none of them are necessary. The magic is always ultimately in the witch, not the tool. You aren’t less of a witch just because you don’t use a certain tool, be that a coven or an athame or an amulet or a cord. There is not a single type of magical working that a person must be able to do in order to be considered a witch.
A coven is an additive thing for your life as a witch, one that can bring a new dimension to your practice, if you’re willing to do the work necessary to make the working solid and safe. But it can also become a toxic and draining undertaking when relationships are not maintained, people burn out, or when individuals begin misusing the coven apparatus (whether they mean to or not). While leaving an oathbound group should be serious stuff, it should be okay to leave a coven if you can no longer be a productive member of the group, so long as you do it in an honorable way.
Likewise, a coven should feel free to remove a member if their overall contribution to the group is undermining the working and disrupting the work. It’s not easy to do something like that without hurt feelings. Telling someone they are no longer welcome in a group where there has been the kind of magical working involved in a coven is hard, particularly if the person being asked to leave doesn’t want to, and doesn’t see why they should. In an ideal world, a separation would be mutual, with both sides understanding that it’s what’s best for everyone. We all know, however, that such an amenable parting is sadly the exception, rather than the rule.
A coven is a working. A coven is work. Forming a coven can be easy. Perhaps too easy. And when someone leaves or when it doesn’t work out, it can be super hard on everyone. The question that anyone even thinking about a coven needs to ask is, “Is it worth it?” Everyone who asks that question will be asking it in a different context. I can’t tell anyone what their right answer to that question is, nor do I wish to. Every witch is sovereign over their own path and must find their own answers, and live with them.