The Balance and the Fall

This Fall Equinox, let's admit that balance isn't what we think it is

We have arrived at the Fall Equinox, the midway point between the height of summer and  the depth of winter. Among the things we  traditionally celebrate is that balance. Yes, it’s one of the egg holidays — when you should be able to  balance an egg on its base and make it stand upright. The light and the dark stand in perfect equanimity, so the fall and spring equinoxes are about balance, or so the conventional wisdom goes.

I think that we sometimes misunderstand balance. In this age of "prioritizing self-care," of "finding work-life balance," and "centering ourselves" we seem to have created a connotation around balance that it's a peaceful state. When we are balanced, we are somehow able to rest.

Bullshit.

Balance is not a state of repose. Don't believe me? Stand up and balance yourself on one leg. See how long it takes before you fall out. Notice while you are trying to balance yourself how many of your core muscles are engaged and how active they are as you try to keep yourself balanced.

I don’t care what your yogi told you, this is NOT relaxing. Photo by Indian Yogi (Yogi Madhav) on Unsplash

Staying in balance does not mean stillness. Far from it, in fact.  Balance is actually perpetual motion. Balance is wobbly. It is constant work to stay in balance. It requires a level  of vigilance that we simply don’t have the energy to maintain forever without interruption. Sooner or later, we slide into uncertainty, we fall down, at least for a  little while, until we can get our balance back again.

The only people who can stand on their one foot seemingly forever are people who have core strength that is acquired through daily work targeted on developing those muscle groups. Likewise, balance in life can look easy for those who have the "core strength" that comes from being well-resourced -- having time, health, money, support. But if you don't have those resources, maintaining balance can become very difficult.

How hard you have to work to keep your balance is also directly related to the level of uncertainty in the environment that you are trying to balance in. Balancing on one foot on a flat floor in your house is different from doing so on a boat deck during a storm. That's part of why lately balance in life seems so hard to maintain, and why we feel exhausted all the time. When the world is literally burning up on one  coast and being swamped by storms on another, and we’re fighting battles against racism and fascism and coping with our children dying from gun violence, is it any wonder that finding and keeping balance seems a bit out of reach for the average person?

The Fall Equinox isn't about some sort of zen-like state where you achieve effortless balance, it's about acknowledging the hard (but necessary) work that IS keeping in balance. Fall Equinox is the second harvest festival, sometimes called the "Pagan Thanksgiving" because of the three harvests -- the other two being Lammas and Samhain -- this is the one where all the work is. Lammas is about those first fruits, the ones that have come most easily and need to be harvested the fastest. Samhain is about finishing the harvest and making sure that there is enough laid in to meet the coming cold and darkness. Lammas and Samhain are about working fast and smart. Fall Equinox is both those things too. But most importantly, Fall Equinox demands we work hard.

The Fall Equinox is that moment when you are in the thick of everything. You are harvesting crops, and harvesting information. What went as planned? What didn't? Do you have everything you need for the lean winter? If not, how do you get what you need? What things do you harvest for immediate consumption? What do you save for later, and how do you preserve it? And what do you let "go to seed" so you can use it during next year's growing cycle? It's an onslaught of action that needs to happen. None of it can wait. You need to do all of the deciding and the acting now, even for the stuff that isn't going to get used until later.

This massive effort to bring in the harvest and ready yourself for winter is what you need to do to ensure your future food security, much in the same way that having all your core muscles activated is needed to ensure that you can stay balanced on one foot.

Balancing is hard, relentless work. And it is absolutely necessary. Life out of balance very quickly becomes unsustainable. We should always be seeking balance in our life, in our world, in our work, in our relationships, in everything we do. But we shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that it's easy, or that once we get balanced, we will be able to relax. Moments of perfect balance do exist. And they do feel terrific. But they don't last long. And whatever place of rest you had for a moment will disappear in the next, and you will have to find and keep your balance all over again.

It seems like a trap, or a curse. But it's not. It's a practice. Doing the work of maintaining balance is a discipline that we undertake. It's a promise that we have to make and keep to ourselves every minute of every day. And on the Equinoxes we celebrate the holiness of that state of being in balance. We honor the work that it takes to get there and to stay there. We acknowledge that the peace of being balanced actually demands a lot from us, but that we are equal to that task if we are able to stay in the present and focus on developing our core strength.

It's not an easy way to live. But it holds within it the promise of sustainable satisfaction over time. If you are willing to do the work.

Blessed Fall Equinox, y'all!